The Geordie Smallholder

Seeking good tenants for three new hives we put up with the help of our expert beekeeper. The idea is to give a poor homeless swarm a lovely abode where they can make honey.

In other news, Doofus got a bath. I’m not sure he enjoys the getting wet bit, but he loves being towel dried then finished off with the hairdryer. His coat is lovely and curly now, and we are still considering clipping him ourselves, but we will probably bottle out. He is used to having a lovely lady who visited us with her van kitted out with a spa bath, and all the luxuries a dog thinks he deserves.

• 

• 

I think the minions are blue and yellow, but we are green to match Rufus.

The second photo is blurry because GSM was laughing so hard at the sight. At least GSW can still touch her toes!

We finally bought a tractor! Geordie Smallholder has been looking and researching for months, and he went to see Rufus, a John Deere, aged 23, throaty growl, bit quirky. GS fell in love.

So the tractor was delivered to the smallholding two days ago in time to take part in the grand opening of the tunnel. The delivery process involved the driver reversing his vehicle all the way from the main road, about a mile, round some corners and down the track to the farm. I think he was just showing off, as his flat bed transporter had room to turn in our yard. He then could not find the right gear to reverse Rufus off, so he rolled it off as we watched (whilst having palpitations, not good for your heart).

Geordie Smallholder then drove Rufus round the farm, fitting in a few doughnuts in the field to the delight of Geordie Smallholder Son and despair of Geordie Smallholder Wifie. Rufus was then parked beside the tunnel and we all toasted his arrival. All GS needs now are some tools, so more research required.

• 

• 

• 

• 

Our local dignatory, the lady mayor, aka Geordie Smallholder’s Mother (GSM) opened the new addition to the farm, a lovely polytunnel. Sporting the desired dress code of tea dress and wellies, or working togs, all the Geordie Smallholder clan gathered for this momentous occasion. We could have let GSM smash a champagne bottle over the tunnel, but unanimous agreement was that we toast the new addition with champagne by drinking it. The lady mayor aka GSM gave a lovely speech then declared the tunnel open by cutting the red ribbon across its sliding door.

After that we all ate out inside courtesy of that lovely restaurant I mentioned previously who make food for you to heat up at home. It was delicious, but the champagne had given us a taste for alcohol, so we polished off some red wine over dinner and got a bit giggly. Geordie Smallholder Son was not amused and left the party after the food was done.

PS all the people in the picture are related and have been in lockdown together, so no worries about any nasty virus.

All the hens are laying now, the bluebells are spectacular and we took time off to have our first barbecue. The dogs were hoping we would drop something, but we didn’t.

(Poly not channel)

Here are pictures at each stage of the build.

Today we turned our attention to an overgrown area out the back. It appears on a 300 year old map of the shire we found last week.

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

• 

There’s a path in there! With stairs! And borders for what would have been beds. No sign of any planting though, the thick canopy of trees blocked all light and killed any life beneath. We are going to clear the blackberry thorns and the lower branches of the other trees to open up the space. Once we can see what it should be, we can decide how to proceed. Into the heart of darkness with a chainsaw, wood chopper and an axe (and lots of labour!).

GSM aka Granny had an advantage as she gets out of bed earlier than teenage grandson (GSS). So she made lemon cake and ginger snaps yum.

Fifi has laid her first egg! This eggscellent performance has yet to be achieved by Trixabelle though. She was too busy sunning herself by the pool in the chicken run yesterday. Bunty and Ginger lay one each near!y every day now, cracking work from those two. Geordie Smallholder’s Mother (GSM) says she will do some baking with these lovely fresh eggs – not if Geordie Smallholder’s son uses them for breakfast first!

This week I heard a local restaurant was doing takeaway with a difference: the chefs prepare the dishes and you cook them at home. We ordered a lovely three course meal on Friday night. To make it special, we dressed for dinner.