The Geordie Smallholder

Now I know how Elvis must have felt…

…or maybe I’m too like Sheldon from “the Big Bang Theory”. Anyway, the hens are on a 16 week lockdown due to avian flu and they are BORED. So when I go in armed with tasty treats to keep them happy (and laying), I get mobbed. As I’m not used to such adoration, I’m feeling a bit, well, crowded. And there is only four of them. What would it be like if we had a flock?

Free Range Birds

So while the poor hens are locked up like true jailbirds, the wild birds are making full use of our bird feeder. The Assassin would dearly love to catch the fat pheasant and has regular stand-offs with the squirrels.

Winter Scenes

We got a bit of snow over the past few days so I thought you might like to see how the farm looks in the blizzard,

Using the Stable for Socially Distanced Visits

The Artist came back from Uni to see us for a flying visit. We put up folding chairs in the stable and closed the bottom doors to keep out the wind for a socially distanced chat. The Assassin thought we had set up home there and she could give up her work hunting rodents and become a lap cat. Sadly, her trial of our laps caused much squealing in pain as she dug her claws in to knead our poor thighs to make them comfier.

Scottish Tablet

Millie gave me some old family recipes for sweets so I thought I’d start with making tablet, a lovely Scottish sweet treat which is better than fudge imho.

People said tablet was easy to make – they were untruthful, don’t you believe them. You definitely need skill and experience to make tablet. My advice is that the slow boil required to stop the mix boiling over means you have to cook it for hours rather than minutes. I poured it into the tin too early and had to reboil the next day to result in the proper, slightly gritty, creamy delight that is tablet. Some of our friends got a bag of the first batch for Christmas and the phone number for the emergency dentist lol.

Chez Experts

I’ve just realised I missed an entire post out of the blog, namely the Experts’ new abode. Its a semi-detached house dating back to the 1700s. In days of yore it was a blacksmiths house and smiddy and the cartwright was just down the hill (very well organised in bygone days, just like tyre and exhaust shops are usually next to each other in modern days). Previous owners have found old horse shoes and pinned them on the outside wall. The house came with a massive shed for the Expert Forester to practise his wood turning and other skills. Geordie Smallholder went round to help the Experts improve the lighting in the shed.

It’s Christmas!

We rose to the sight of three deer in the garden, so obviously Santa had forgotten to take Dancer, Prancer and Donner with him back to the North Pole. If you look closely at the photos you will just see the rear view of one of them. They were nowhere to be seen when I took Doofus out for his walk.

We sorted out the animals, then did presents and breakfast. Millie bought Doofus a squeaky toy, the noise of which caused all remaining brain cells to depart leaving a dog with only one function left: DESTROY THAT TOY!

In the afternoon, we went for a walk with the Experts.

One of our presents was a selekshun box from a relative who couldn’t be with us.

I’m going to get so fat, chocolate calls to me.

For those who couldn’t be with us this year, we missed you all. And to everyone else, hope you had a lovely day and best wishes for the New Year. Stay safe and well!

Winter Solstice

The Experts, having found themselves a lovely home about 4 fields away from our smallholding (and about 2 miles away by road), decided to throw a winter solstice barbeque with us as their extended family group.

It was freezing cold, so the Experts had set up the bbq in the shed with a space heater. A Christmas tree on the wood turning machine and a festive swoop of fairy lights over the shelves added to the festive atmosphere (along with our breath freezing in the air). In addition to the Nativity feel of a barbeque in a shed at Christmas time, we had the Needy Blonde begging for scraps (ignored, but she remains ever hopeful) and Margo the ferret. The hot food was very tasty, but I had brought along trifle and cheesecake which were a bit cold to eat (but the Experts and the GS family persevered, full marks for that). I think if the Experts do this again, I will bring a hot dessert, maybe our hot chocolate fudge cake with custard in the slow cooker.

Needless to say, although the wind chill was -1’C, the sky was clouded over (see pictures below) and we did not get to see Saturn and Jupiter collide (from our Earthly point of view). This happens all the time here, any interesting astronomical events are usually not visible due to the resident clouds, sigh.

No way will you see the clear night sky here

Christmas Menu Testing

You should know by now that in the Geordie Smallholder family, our favourite topic of conversation is food. So this weekend our thoughts, words and deeds turned to Christmas 2020. Due to the possibility of our area being locked down over the festive period, Christmas is going to look a lot different this year. So why not break with as many traditions as possible? Let’s face it, there are more important things to do on Christmas Day than getting up early to roast a turkey, which despite best efforts by all can, sometimes, be dry and chewy (or undercooked and that’s much, much worse).

Here’s our break the traditions Christmas menu:

Roast beef with all the trimmings, including Yorkshire puddings followed by hot chocolate fudge cake and custard.

So we decided to practise baking our own hot chocolate fudge cake:

Geordie Smallholder’s Mother demonstrated how to make custard to go with it:

The finished pudding, it lasted about 2 seconds!

Sunset and Moonrise in the Afternoon

It’s so far north here, the sun sets well before dinner time. Yesterday, at the same moment the sun was setting in the west, the moon was rising in the east, just visible through the trees.

Winter Sun

We see the sun so rarely at this time of the year, when I saw it wasn’t raining today, I ran out with the dog and my phone to record the rising sun.

Yet Another Birthday

It was GSW’s turn for a birthday afternoon tea, supplied by our eldest daughter, The Vet. GSM baked a huge chocolate cake which got pride of place in the centre on a cake stand made by Expert Forester. Bit of a cake theme here, I realise. Here are some pictures from the day.

So what do you get the GSW with a bad back for her birthday? Tools to help her muck out of course! There was a light plastic shovel and a poop scoop set which means no need to bend down to get those horse apples. I also got a horse hay keeper for the turnout area so they don’t spread the hay all over and mush it into the mud. We will need to weight it down before use as they will play football with it if given the chance.

I also got lovely flowers, lovely wine, lovely chocolates and lovely socks. Thanks to all for my cards and presents. Having done my mucking out in record time with the right tools for the job, I’m off to guzzle and slurp with cozy feet. Hic!