Smallholder Staycation

I thought you might like to read about how a smallholder can holiday at home without it being a bus driver’s holiday. So I’ve given a blow-by-blow account of our recent week off. Having survived the June heatwave we thought a holiday at home would be sun, cocktails on the deck, and as little work about the place as we could (the animals always get looked after I hasten to point out). See what you think.

Day 1. Millie treated us to a slap-up lunch whilst GSM inspected a hospital. She reported that the staff were lovely and it was both efficient and effective. Lunch was good, I had fish and chips, delicious. It rained. All day.

Day 2. Can’t remember, oh yeah, food shopping. I took Superdoofus for a long walk, pictures below. In the rain.

Day 3. I shampooed Dora and rinsed her with fly repellent. I also cleaned her bridle and saddle. It rained a bit. We didn’t go out, because, well, rain.

Day 4. Our lovely horse trainer came to help develop Dora’s stable manners. I’m to work on being boring and not handing out cuddles every time Dora looks for attention. She’s to get praise and cuddles when she does what is requested of her. We worked on backing up in the stable, moving over, standing still, and getting her tail brushed out. We also trimmed her tail as it was so long it dragged on the ground. She could pull something if it was under her and she tried to get up. Also, I was getting fed up untangling the roots, branches, jaggy bits, etc that got caught in her tail as she walks about the field.

And it rained. A lot. When we took the cat and dog out for evening walkies, the clouds were in the valley below us. It was very Dickensian.

Day 5. I went to give the horses breakfast and was met by an agitated Tim. He had been scratching his head on something and had managed to flip his headcollar over one ear. It was now hanging down across his eye. He obviously thought he had gone blind and was very worried. So worried that he wouldn’t let me near him to fix it. I managed to get close enough to flip it further up the other ear. For a minute Tim thought he had gone both blind and deaf. I put his breakfast bowl down and he stuck his head in the bucket. The chewing action managed to work the offending headcollar all the way over his ear and it pinged off like a giant elastic band. Panic averted. Tim could see and hear again!

Purchased vermin control tool. GS and GSW went out for lunch and discovered a factory shop we didn’t know existed. Smallholder bliss. It rained.

Day 6. Went to the fencing supplier and came back with gates for the solar farm paddock and the garden. We were in Big Red for most of the day, so obviously the sun shined.

Geordie Smallholder and GSS put up one of the gates in the evening, supervised by the Assassin.

Day 7. Boiler service, GSM hairdo, and a trip to the local museum of country life, as recommended by Millie, who had visited recently.

It was raining when we arrived. We went in and it being lunchtime, settled into a table in the cafe and ordered soup and toasties and paninis. After we inhaled these, we made our way to the ground floor display of Edwardian dresses and accessories. There was a large doll’s house on display.

We had to leave GSM sitting on a chair after admiring the mainly black and ivory dresses because the rest of the displays were upstairs. On the higher floors were farm tools including ploughs and harnesses that Dora’s ancestors would have worn. The rest of the mill workings were also on display along with various rooms set up as late Victorian through to 1930s domestic settings.

On returning to the ground floor to collect GSM, we were perturbed to see her being entertained by a stranger showing off the contents of his drawers. He hadn’t even taken her out for dinner first! It turned out that this was the museum owner and the drawers held ladies’ accessories such as tortoiseshell hair combs, opera gloves, and beautiful scarves.

We went back to the tea room for afternoon tea, there was lemon sponge, treacle scones (other varieties were available), coffee cake, and chocolate sponge, all delicious. Another low-calorie trip for the Smallholder family lol.

Day 8. GSS took us to see the latest fantasy action film. It wasn’t meant to align with our experience of the laws of physics on this planet, but it was a ripping yarn. Thank you GSS.

We had a pizza party at night, yum. It rained all bl**dy day.

Day 9. Food shopping then I spent the afternoon sleeping. Took Superdoofus for a long walk when I eventually woke up. It rained a bit but was too hot for wearing a waterproof.

Day 10. Got ready to go back to work, sigh. Clothes washed and ironed. Not line dried because, surprise, it was raining. Millie came over for dinner so we had lasagne and tiramisu.

It tasted better than the photos lol. So I’m now relaxing with a glass of wine before doing the dishes, feeding the animals, and going to bed. Work tomorrow! The forecast is “fine and sunny, light breezes”, so GSH and GSS will be able to do outside jobs around the farm. I bet they are looking forward to it more than I am, thinking about returning to the office.