Catch up Post

We’ve been really busy lately so I haven’t had a chance to update you on progress. Basically we have been trying to grow stuff during a winter that never ends. We need to show winter the calendar and let it know it’s time to shove off and let spring in. I’ll take you through what we have been doing in reverse chronological order, so you are travelling backwards through time as you read this.

We have been improving the stables, a new roof, new gutters, concrete reinforcements, two coats of paint, painted woodwork and washed windows have made it look great. We still have some jobs to do inside and then it will be the best horse hotel in the area. All other better bred equines will be jealous.

The garage (which we use as a hayshed) looked decidedly grubby against the snowy whiteness of the horse hotel, so Expert Beekeeper and GSW painted it white. It took three coats to cover the grubby, so now I know where the word “whitewash” got its meaning! GS has previously put up new gutters. We are currently painting the door with red gloss but already it is looking so much better. EB and GSW had to stand in the muck heap to paint the back wall, with EB wondering why we are always in the sh…..t, lol.

We purchased a logsplitter to take the hard work out of preparing all the logs we got from the fallen trees in the bottom field (see below). GSS is particularly good at operating it. The logsplitter is a fetching green to match Rufus the tractor.

A few days ago, GSM noticed an uninvited guest in the garden – a deer was sampling all the plants. We opened the back door and he scarpered pdq, but we may need to be extra careful when we plant veggies in the field as the local wildlife will think we have put on a buffet for them.

Doofus got his first clip since last year. He looks a bit more dignified I think.

The rain stopped long enough to allow the pond to dry out and we could see that soil run off would slowly fill the pond and stop the drains working. GS and GSS lifted the soil on the pond bottom and recycled it in the vegetable beds.

I made treacle scones, but ever eager to make sure the Geordie Smallholder family get enough fibre in their diets, I used wholemeal self raising flour. The result was that the scones tasted alright but were termed “highland clearances”. Maybe I should patent this for people who need laxatives, lol.

Our daughter, the Vet, paid us a visit and we got to exchange Christmas presents at long last. We took her for a tour of the smallholding. Her dog, Haggis, loved Doofus and wanted to chase the cats. Doofus told him in no uncertain terms that the vermin control agents were not for chasing.

We marked out the areas in one field where we plan to grow vegetables for the neighbouring village. The Assassin came to help us. We have been planting seeds in batches every fortnight so that we can extend the harvest season. Sadly the seedlings are not as good as last year, we think this may be due to how late spring is this year. As GS said, “this time last year I was in shorts, this year I’m still in three fleeces and thermal socks”.

The Experts are happy with the bees: all four hives survived the winter and there are at least three queens. They put a brood frame from another hive into the one they suspect has no queen to see if the workers will grow a queen.

I’m a Lumberjack and I’m OK

In April, we had a false spring. GS discovered that a tree in the bottom field had fallen into the stream and was blocking the water. This would result in the field getting flooded if we had heavy rain. GS called in reinforcements in the shape of Expert Forester to cut the tree up, unblocking the stream and giving us all wood for next winter/ next week when winter came back. We had a picnic lunch in the field and it snowed on us. I told you it was a false spring.

As Monty Python sang, “I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok, I sleep all night and I work all day, I cut down trees, I eat my lunch, I go to the lavatory, on Wednesdays I go shopping and have buttered scones for tea. I’m a lumberjack and I’m ok, I sleep all night and I work all day, I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers, I put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars…”

That’s quite enough of that. And now for something completely different: