Touching Cloth

Warning*** this post might be a bit rude/disgusting

On Friday evening, we had imbibed a glass or two of the red stuff with a lovely steak dinner. The Experts invited us over to their abode for more wine, so of course we agreed. During the course of consuming several more bottles, the midges came out and started feasting…on us.

We then had to zip up the awning to keep out the blighters and light some citronella candles. This arrangement worked, freeing us to keep on drinking until the Needy Blonde decided in true Labrador fashion to release noxious gases into the confined space…repeatedly. The green tinge rose silent but deadly, first noticed by EB, who winced in pain. Displaying excellent hang time, in a few minutes the gas drifted over to us. I needed a mask, but ended up covering my face in my t-shirt. We then worried about the gas passing over the candles, picturing the awning disappearing in an exo-thermic reaction. EB and EF used to be firefighters so I’m sure they would do the old hero thing if the noxious mix of sulphur, hydrogen sulphide, possibly nasty organics such as benzene and a bit of radiation proved to be flammable.

Drinking wine through our t-shirts proved to be very difficult. EF has no sense of smell, so he was perfectly comfortable all through this mass poisoning. Lucky him, another super power!